A Short(s) Update
I am a sucker for “Where are they now?” stories. I cannot resist current photos of the “Saved By the Bell” cast or scouring the internet to find out what my favorite Olympic gymnast from 1984 is doing now. Four years ago when an article was published in The New York Times about the whereabouts of former contestants on the television show, The Biggest Loser, I read it like a thrilling novel. While most participants were successful at losing large amounts of weight while on the show, there were only a few participants that could keep the weight off years after the grand prize was awarded. Many physiological changes were mentioned in the article, but for the most part it proved to me that only longevity of time and continual repetition is what turns a newfound belief into a way of life. Great ideas are only destined to remain as such if they are unable to be put into practice over and over again.
Four months ago I wrote about my struggle to wear short shorts in public. Hoping to change my mindset, a few years ago I set out to educate myself about the science of cellulite and how its occurrence is not a flaw, but instead a natural happening caused by fibrous connective cords that tether the skin to the underlying muscle, with the fat lying between. With this knowledge about what causes dimpling in the skin of many people, I would wear the shorts around the house and practice standing in front of the mirror reciting, “You are good enough. Cellulite is normal. Wear whatever you want, gosh darn!” However, no matter how many times I recalled the facts and repeated the helpful mantras aloud, when it was time to leave the house, the shorts would remain neatly folded in the dresser.
Despite the positive steps I took to change my thinking, had I been asked to wear short shorts to the grocery store six months ago, I would have replied, “You want me to do what?!” My newfound belief to accept my cellulite was not enough to give me the courage to actually wear the shorts out in public.
After years of doing mental gymnastics, on an ordinary day in June I finally found the courage to wear the shorts to the supermarket. Since then, these past months have proven to me that real change did not begin to occur until I took the shorts out of the drawer, put them on my body, and left the house. Taking action has been the only way I have been able to overcome this struggle.
I am pleased to report that while nothing has changed in the appearance of my cellulite, everything has changed in my outlook regarding my legs. I am now able to regularly wear short shorts out of the house without wishing I could put a paper bag over my head in the hopes of remaining anonymous. I no longer hide behind cars in the parking lot as I approach the store’s entrance or keep my grocery cart in front of me at all times to cover my legs. I can now walk down the center of the aisle like a normal human being.
From the beginning, my goal was never to look in the mirror and love myself wearing shorts. I just wanted to accept what is and wear them because they exude a certain fashionable “edge” that cannot be created with more conservative knee-length styles. Also, I wanted to practice my conviction that any individual should wear what they like, whatever their age or body type.
What DID happen when I started wearing shorts out in public?
By far, the best result of wearing short shorts has been that the more I wear them out of the house, the less I care about, well, wearing them out of the house! Now I spend less time wondering if I will be recognized by others, and I care less that I see dimply skin in the mirror or a window’s reflection. This “caring less” mentality has helped me to develop a healthier outlook as it is no longer disgusting or abnormal - it just is what it is. I have experienced more freedom from self-judgment than I have ever known, no matter how thin or muscular my legs are.
I enjoy wearing stylish shorts, and unexpectedly, seeing my legs has allowed me to be more appreciative of my strong muscles, because when one has more skin on display, it is easier to see more exposed muscles next to the cellulite. Along with this, the less I critical I am of my own appearance, the less I am tempted to judge others. I feel brave that I have embraced something that I have avoided for most of my life, and I am proud that my daughter can see me humbly overcome my long-held insecurities.
Lastly, I have grown in courage as a fitness and health practitioner to let others see me as I am. I work hard to take care of myself, but I am human and when I put on short shorts instead of my opaque workout leggings, my humanity is more on display in the form of visible cellulite.
What DID NOT happen when I began to wear shorts in public?
My cellulite did not diminish nor disappear. I have never seen perfectly smooth legs in the mirror, and in fact, some mirrors and overhead lighting actually accentuate the ripples on my thighs. I still do not like the appearance of my knees, and by habit, my eyes fixate on this area to see if I approve. With practice though, I have become quicker to raise my gaze upwards towards my face.
Some days I did not have the strength to wear shorts in public. As my confidence would fluctuate, I learned to give myself grace and not feel shame for wearing jeans or leggings instead.
My journey to finally wear the shorts out of the house has made me wish that I would have taken action sooner so that I could have enjoyed this freedom years earlier. I am certain that had the shorts remained in the drawer this summer or even just worn around the house, I would not have been able to experience this level of body acceptance.
If you, like me, find that you cannot think your way to lasting change, it might be time for you to take action. Give it some time, and most likely once you take action, your feelings will eventually follow. Often, the way we act determines how we feel, not the other way around.
One Last Word of advice.
If it is a challenge for you to wear shorts (or leggings, skinny jeans, sleeveless tops, etc) out of the house, but yet you want to, I highly recommend that you purchase an article of clothing that you like as it makes going out of the house a little easier. After many failed attempts of thinking I would just cut off old jeans and make them into shorts, I finally bought some Levi’s and did not regret it.
