Training Together - Teens and Fitness: Part 1
My two kids went from being toddlers to teenagers overnight. They were the children that were welcomed by name into the “kid’s club” at the gym like celebrities because of their frequent visiting. We were the family who would rush to stand in line hoping they had room so that mom could get her much needed uninterrupted workout time. I might’ve been the person you rolled your eyes at.
And then they grew up.
When my first child turned twelve, I was faced with the dilemma as to whether I should buy her a gym membership. She was no longer in P.E. at school and wasn’t involved in extracurricular athletics. She also didn’t enjoy the potential scene it would create if I chased her around the neighborhood just so she could get physical activity. So to have her join the gym seemed quite logical. But after getting her membership, I realized that something much more would be required of me, as it wouldn’t be advisable to just pat her on the back with an encouraging, “Go for it. I will see you later.” That something more would be us working out together. Sigh.
As a personal trainer I have always dreamed that my children would love strength training just like I do, enjoy the sense of accomplishment it brings, and experience the confidence of being strong and able bodied. But I guess I had never really connected the dots of how they would arrive at that place in their life without instruction. And while I normally loved spending time with them, working out together elicited anxiety because for years I had lifted weights alone and on my terms. Just. The. Way. I. Liked. It.
This crossroads would require something different, and that something different would actually be a sacrifice for me: a sacrifice of my personal time and agenda. A sacrifice I had to decide if I was willing to make.
The days are long, but the years are short. —Gretchen Rubin
Remember those days when you laid on the floor with your toddler playing with toys, (in my children’s case, with plastic food)? For some of you, this is reality at the moment, but for others, those are only precious, but distant memories.
A change in my perspective came when I began to realize that someday, just like playing with plastic food on the living room floor, working out alongside my teenagers would only be a distant memory. And that just like those toddler moments, it had the possibility of being equally precious for both of us.
I reminded myself that in many areas of our kids’ lives, we have the privilege (and responsibility) of being their first teacher. And I needed to look at exercising with my teens as a privilege. A privilege of coming alongside them for this brief period in life so that they could experience the life giving effects of exercise and learn skills to prepare and guide them on their health journey into adulthood. And not only did it have the possibility of helping their physical and mental health, but it presented the opportunity to strengthen our relationship, making it not just good for them, but also good for us. Writing on the subject of adolescents and strength training, TC Luoma says,
“Most parents aren't as good in maintaining these (parent/child) bonds when kids get older and presumably more complex. Weightlifting gives you something to share and a way to acknowledge your kid's effort and achievements, along with his weaknesses, which is a hell of a lot more valuable than giving half-hearted universal praise to every achievement, no matter how insignificant.”
And from my experience, moaning (and laughing) through push-ups bonds like no other. I decided that this sacrifice of time and personal agenda would be well worth it.
In the coming posts I will explore what it looks like to workout with your teen, giving practical tips on what exercises are good to start with when they are new to strength training. I will explore the rollercoaster emotions teens are prone to, and how strength training not only benefits their physical health but their mental health as well. I will offer ideas on how to navigate their busy afternoon/schedules to fit in regular exercise, and I will also share ways that you can encourage your teen to go to the gym with you when they’d rather be sitting at home on their phone. And lastly for those of you like me who cherish your “alone” time, I will offer input on how to balance working out with your teen while still finding moments to workout alone.
Five years on, I have navigated these teen years with a new outlook. I still enjoy working out alone, but I have also discovered that I love working out with my teenagers. It has been a beautiful journey, and I can not only see the huge benefits from regular exercise in my teens’ mental and physical health, but I can see them take pride in how their regular exercise habits have become part of their weekly rhythm. And selfishly, someday when people approach my grown adult children and ask them how they became so strong, they will be able to say, “My mom taught me.”
Luoma, TC. “8 Reasons Kids Should Lift Weights.” T Nation. n.p. 22 December 2015.